id be glad to
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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