Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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