their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think my tv is drunk
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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