we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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