i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
