and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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