So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
