Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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