When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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