Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize