You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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