Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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