Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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