do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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