after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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