he wants to bone in the snuggie
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
