I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
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When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
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I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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