I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
