yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
