Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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