when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
