if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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