dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
