He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
cat food counts as protein by the way
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
