she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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