Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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