Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
