I wish my penis had an off switch
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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