she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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