Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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