is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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