well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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