some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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