Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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