are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
