IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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