Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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