Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
lets start a swedish sibling band together
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
