I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
