making cat noises will not fix the situation.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why are your pants in the freezer?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
