he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
