Barsexuality is the new black.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
