His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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