i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
