Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
