How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
