Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
