i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
