Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I want a musical about memes.
soo... how was my night?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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