So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i dont even know how to be here
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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