so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
