It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
