I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
