Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
