Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize