he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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