I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize