just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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