Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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