trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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