My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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