Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She said her name was "party"
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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