I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
